Aliens in America

Aliens in America

Episode Recap: "Rocket Club"

We learned one very important thing tonight: Evidently, all doorknobs are potential bongs. Very handy to keep in mind.

We also learned something else: To be a successful teenager in America, you have to be a liar. So Raja, being such a naturally hard worker, tries to get some practice in. He needed it: He starts out the evening so truthful that he tells Franny that someone was smoking marijuana on the bus. This prompts her strict no-privacy-in-my-home policy, which involves the removal of all aforementioned doorknobs, the upgrade of the family spy software to the point that Justin can't even search for "Dick Cheney" on the Internet, the storing of the family liquor supply in the neighbors' safe, and the mistaken assumption that the Canadian flag is a big red pot leaf. Even the teddy bears in Justin's room are wired. Everyone's a narc, man.

To escape Franny's mad lust for snooping, Justin long ago started a phony club with two of his equally dorky pals. He told Franny that it was a school-monitored Rocket Club, in which the boys learn about science and so forth; in truth Justin and his pals sit in some kid's basement, eat cupcakes and watch movies with hot chicks in them. But when Franny insists that Justin bring Raja (or "Roger," according to his history teacher), Raja is forced to tell his first-ever lie. This results in phony permission slips, some caped costumes and a trip to the hardware store for rocket supplies. When Raja tries to score a few small items — a detonation device, a really long fuse, some flame-resistant wadding, a radio-controlled timing device — he gets arrested on suspicion of terrorist activity. Seeing the cops pull into the driveway, Justin naturally assumes that they're on to his Internet-porn problem. Shenanigans ensue, ones involving Mr. Matthews and, worse, Claire, whose reputation for being "soft on terrorism" costs her her spot on the cheerleading squad.

But in the end, Mr. Matthews comes through, and a real Rocket Club is born, wreaking havoc on the Medora social structure but helping Justin et al pass the time in a totally useless way. Awesome stuff.

Some terrific quotes and moments:
• Raja to Claire: "But I am not a terrorist, and you are not soft on me."
• Franny to Justin: "Do you love me, or is that just another one of your lies?"
• When Franny didn't want Raja to catch her watching a Woody Allen movie because "it's set in New York"
• When Franny walked in on Justin reading "Womanhood" magazine on the can
• Dooley: "Look at her, she's filthy; eventually she has to take a shower."
• Gary regarding Claire's cheerleading permission slip: "It's a lot to read after three beers."
• Gary regarding dolphins: "They are a majestic creature."
• Claire regarding Raja's social life: "He came halfway across the world to hang out with Justin's douchie friends?"
• Becky Himmler regarding the patriotic necessity of cheerleading: "What you're actually saying is that in this country, there's absolutely nothing a boy can do that a girl won't cheer for."

Love the Justin Tolchuk? Check out my Q&A with Dan Byrd. It's good — he really handed out the funny! Or find Aliens clips in our Online Video Guide.